We were told to write a bio for our band DBUK, my first response was to question my knowledge on biographies vs. autobiographies, implying their same lack of knowledge. Their humorless response was sending me this template as guidance.

1 Band logo – DBUK.

2 Name of the band – See above.

3 Member names and what they do – Rebecca Vera, Vet Tech; Lord Dwight Pentacost, Sales; Slim Cessna, CEO Of SlimCessnaMusic.com; Munly J Munly, Unemployed.

4 What kind of music you play (DO NOT mention that you "sound like Blink 182 meets Eminem!" When you compare yourself to another band, you automatically set the mood for the potential listener) - Good…we play good music, loved by fans from Box Car Racer to Yelawolf.

5 Where to find your music: PureVolume, ReverbNation, Bandcamp, SoundCloud, etc. - Yes, all of these, and probably iTunes, as well as at our new record label, SCACUNINCOPORATED

6 Where the band is from – Denver Colorado.

7 Average age of the band – That’s an easy one, 45.25 – though I might have missed Rebecca’s last birthday, so this might be off, and I might find out soon.

8 List of press accomplishments (if you have any quotes) – Not Applicable.

9 How many plays, followers, likes, subscribers and video views you have on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube – 45.25

10 A brief description of what your band is about…no more than 30 words – I can not possibly do this in thirty words because I would need to start by mentioning Munly’s good looks, charm and genius, which leaves no room for anything…and 30.

11 Contact information – Booking/Management is Todd Cote, todd@leafygreen.com.

12 Any equipment or product endorsements – Munly is sponsored by Schechter Guitars, Lace Pickups, and ZT Amps.

13 How many shows or tours you have done – Forty-Five & One Quarter.

14 If you sold large quantities of song downloads or EPs, mention it – You might be interested to know that we have sold large quantities of EPs and song downloads.

15 If you have/had radio play, mention where and who – AM Radio, FM Radio, Internet Radio.

16 What larger bands you have opened for. Keep it as brief and to the point as possible. – Oh my, I am over one sheet, too bad because this last one was going to be extremely interesting.